True Story: Long Long Distance
A strange thing happened today.
I answered the phone this morning and someone said, “Hey.”
I responded with the same.
She said, “Ann Marie?”
“Yes,” I replied.
Again. “Ann Marie?”
I couldn’t place the voice. “Who is this?”
A normal person would probably think this through for a minute. Excuse herself. Say wrong number. Not this Ann Marie.
“MY MOM IS DEAD!”
Then I got all kooky-talking. “My name is Ann Marie, but my mom is dead. ::sob sob sob:: You have the wrong number! My number is blah blah blah. My name is Ann Marie, :: sob sob sob:: but you have the wrong number ….
Lather. Rinse. Repeat (with subtle gasping sounds).
“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry” She couldn’t say it enough times.
Then it happened. Again. Remember **the wig**? Oh Lawd. I started laughing. Then cackling.
“I’m so sorry. Oh my God, I am so sorry. Are you okay?” She was totally mortified.
As if the first fit of laughter wasn’t inappropriate enough, I ramped it up a bit with some delicate snorting. “I’m okay. I swear I’m okay. It’s okay.”
“I really am sorry.”
At this point, I’m feeling bad for the lady on the other end. Really bad. “No, it’s okay. I swear. Have a great day.”
Have a great day? Who says that?
Thanks for this horrifying experience of mutual emotional trauma. Have a great day.
But you know me … I just laughed a little more, ate a Milky Way, and got on with it.
(I may not get calls anymore) but I do get that from my Momma.
UPDATE (5/23): This Universe is a very bizarre place.